Men: DON'T get married until you're at least 30 yrs old

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Originally Posted by Feiichy

Children of old fathers face much higer health risks such as higher chance for schizophrenia and autism....and yet also higher chance for higher IQ, interestingly.

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Although the chance of autism might increase with the age of the parents it is still rare even among the older parents, esp if it is only an older male. It’s not as though autism and chizophrenia is a common outcome among older parents just increased odds. When I say a man should wait to have kids until after 30, I’m thinking more like 30s, 40s and 50s age man which should be fine for having healthy children.

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Originally Posted by rothaer

To experience grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

This was a very aware to me aspect already when I was 18. I experienced and exchanged a lot with my grandparents and the imagination that that would not have been possible would have been an incredible loss to me. It's not about some emotional blah blah, but about identification and enormously valuable exchange that I could not have had with my parents, because they where - like most people in that situation - much absorbed by their work, parenting and being inmidst of necessary activity. This way I got aware of the important function of grandparents. I'm not sure, but I even think that within a population regarding the passing down of culture grandparents are more important than parents.

Regardless of this you are right that a man can breed as well in his 70s (if he has a sufficient mental readiness). This is a great gift to the men.

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Like I told Fiiechy, I suggest a man have children at 30s, 40s and 50s which should give enough time to see grand and great grandchildren if you have a healthy life. I use 70 as an extreme example and not ideal. I agree on importance of grandparents.

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Originally Posted by KirillMazur

You can not give such advice and designate strict deadlines for life stages. And I don't know any couples (especially husbands, and for a wife this is often a conscious choice) who have sacrificed their careers because of children. On the contrary, family people are more responsible and get promotions easier. For some positions, family and children are an unspoken requirement.
Life "for yourself" is childhood and youth, when you do not yet have the responsibility and resources necessary for degradation. After that, the family keeps you in shape and gives meaning to development, cutting off harmful elements.

My parents were 27 when I was born. So when I was growing up, my parents were still young and full of energy. My grandparents weren't very old either.
I'm afraid that if my parents were 40-45 years old at the time of my birth, my childhood would have had a much grayer tint, on a par with their parenthood. And grandparents - these would be vivid memories from the days of kindergarten.

So get married when you feel that you have found the right partner and are ready to move on to the next stage - to discard egoism and develop yourself for the future unit of society.
Our first son was born when I was 31, he will be 4 at the end of December. I think it's rather late, but up to this point the suitable conditions were just forming.
There are thoughts about a second child, but this project is still under development, as it requires an expansion of living space and a fundamental change in lifestyle.

As for 70-year-old fathers - yes, a good option for a certain type of woman, if he is a multimillionaire. Young and beautiful millionaires and just promising guys are not in short supply now.

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It’s advice a young man can take or leave but I think it’s the right choice in my heart. It’s not a judgment of character but a fact that humanity would benefit from parents that are more mature, have money, and lived life.

My parents had me in their early 20s but I don’t think it was the best choice and they could have benefited by getting educated and maturing. 31 yr dad like you is far better than 21. As I told others, 30s, 40s and 50s should give enough time to see grand and great grandchildren if you have a healthy life. You can’t tell me that a 19 or 20 year old guy with no money or education is better suited to be father than a 36 year old father with a career, home, saving, etc.

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Originally Posted by Brás Garcia de Mascarenhas

Great suggestion in a forum where you can count on your fingers the number of male members who are financially independent or live outside their parents' home in their 30s and 40s, let alone worrying about getting married in their 20s ;)

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Speak for yourself Romeo :thumb001:

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Originally Posted by Florin Radu

My parents had me in their early 20s but I don’t think it was the best choice and they could have benefited by getting educated and maturing. 31 yr dad like you is far better than 21. As I told others, 30s, 40s and 50s should give enough time to see grand and great grandchildren if you have a healthy life. You can’t tell me that a 19 or 20 year old guy with no money or education is better suited to be father than a 36 year old father with a career, home, saving, etc.

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Interesting.
Here in Sweden, most people who had their kids in their early 20s only finished their secondary education/trades and didn't go to university. I have asked some of them why they didn't go to university and they told me that they weren't interested. I was also surprised as to how many people here in Sweden have not finished a natural sciences degree at university. I thought it was normal, because that was the case in my family, but it's not the most common. Also, there are a lot of people whom I thought hadn't been to university because they worked in areas such as the social sciences, which I thought at first only required secondary education.
Many kids I befriend as a child will be children of these people.

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Originally Posted by Florin Radu

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Not really.

Even by getting your kids in your 30s gives much less time left with grandparents and in 40s and 50s it's expected they will all be dead or extremely old if lucky.
My parents got me in their 30s and I lost my last grandparent when I entered university.

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Originally Posted by Feiichy

Not really.

Even by getting your kids in your 30s gives much less time left with grandparents and in 40s and 50s it's expected they will all be dead or extremely old if lucky.
My parents got me in their 30s and I lost my last grandparent when I entered university.

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Also diseases play a role. Like heart issues make some people die at 70, which is way too young. Interestingly here in Sweden (according to a professor of neochemistry at the Sahlgrenska University Hospital), I read that the later generations of people who hadn't endured starvation during 1800s-1900s were more likely to suffer from heart diseases.

So despite them actually "surviving" more, they still end up with problems that make them die earlier :(

Both if my grandfathers died before I was born, and my two grandmothers died not too long ago.