Ppl who say they are strongly against abuse in relationship,cheat and emotionally torture partner?

[derLowe]

It's not the same. Insults cut deep.

I'll admit, I was physically and emotionally abused by my mother (although physical was rare). Examples of physical abuse were hitting, choking, and dragging me down the hallway by my hair.

The insults were on a daily basis, several times a day. Insults, and mind games. My mother rarely called me by my real name. She would also tell me nobody liked me and things like that. These insults stick to me even 10 years after moving out. I have nightmares about the insults, not the hitting.

I see that we are in the same boat, so to speak. I was also emotionally and physically abused as a kid. I remember dreading coming home from school, it got to such a point that I studied extra after hours in the school library so I would not have to go home ( this did help my grades ).

No one ever chocked me or dragged be by my hair but my dad did used to beat me with rubber object, so they would not leave marks. One of the problems was I resisted my beatings which made them all the worse.

After I reached my 16th birth day my dad moved away to work and my life started to improve, that was 13 years ago.

[Grumpy Cat]

I see that we are in the same boat, so to speak. I was also emotionally and physically abused as a kid. I remember dreading coming home from school, it got to such a point that I studied extra after hours in the school library so I would not have to go home ( this did help my grades ).

No one ever chocked me or dragged be by my hair but my dad did used to beat me with rubber object, so they would not leave marks. One of the problems was I resisted my beatings which made them all the worse.

After I reached my 16th birth day my dad moved away to work and my life started to improve, that was 13 years ago.

I hear you. I had to move out to get away from it, but it still happens. I told my mother a month ago she is not allowed to visit me anymore. The worst is that she will insult me, but say first "I am only saying this because I love you and nobody else will say this to you but...". That pisses me off greatly, it's like a psychological game. I didn't get much of a break from it at school, either. I was bullied by a group of wiggers at my school. Getting a job was the game changer. And yeah, I am a workoholic.

Anyways, I alluded to the cat in a previous post. If you want to know what my mother did to the cat: left it outside in the cold, and once gave it Valium and almost killed it.

[Supreme American]

No idea and I don't care to know. She was like that with my sister and also my grandmother (her mother) when she lived with us. She used to call my father stupid too.

Oh yeah, and she also wasn't even that nice to the cat, either.

As long as you understand that was something to do with something within HER and not you, your siblings, or your cat.

[Supreme American]

Was always raised to never hit a woman, which I never did, even the stupid skinhead girl who once randomly started punching me at at party.

Used to yell at girlfriends when I was younger, don't really do that anymore.

Now, when I encounter adversity in a relationship, I just pack my bags and leave. I can't hit back, can't yell back, and I'm sure as hell not going to sit there and take it. Is this any better for society? By the former girlfriends I see now approaching or past the age 30 threshold and bemoaning their single status, maybe not.

There are always ways to handle adversity. Hitting and insulting and whatnot is obviously out of bounds, and it's good on you to avoid those. If its that bad, yeah, just go. Don't take that from anyone.

[Grumpy Cat]

As long as you understand that was something to do with something within HER and not you, your siblings, or your cat.

She has a short temper and overreacts. I had to hide things from her because I was afraid of reaction (then hiding made it worse). She once beat me, insulted me for 45 minutes, and then kicked me out of the house and sent me to a shelter because I spilled blueberry juice.

My father came and picked me up.

One of my teachers called child services one time too after I walked into her class with a black eye, even after me begging her not to call. I ended up living with her relatives, a Dutch immigrant family. It was good but kind of sucked at the same time because I cannot speak Dutch.

My mother was fine as long as she wasn't pissed off, though. However, the slightest thing could piss her off. Even my liking music she didn't like pissed her off.

And I forget what the cat did. Knocked over a Christmas ornament or something. Anyways, she has a dog now, and I have threatened to take the dog because she was talking about taking it to the vet and putting it down, even though it is perfectly healthy, just doesn't behave up to her standards.

The dog is a pug, it does this:

[YOUTUBE]QNWVwQKi4kQ[/YOUTUBE]

Considering the number of videos on YouTube of pugs doing this, you could conclude it's normal pug behaviour. If you don't like it, don't get a pug.

[derLowe]

I hear you. I had to move out to get away from it, but it still happens. I told my mother a month ago she is not allowed to visit me anymore. The worst is that she will insult me, but say first "I am only saying this because I love you and nobody else will say this to you but...". That pisses me off greatly, it's like a psychological game. I didn't get much of a break from it at school, either. I was bullied by a group of wiggers at my school. Getting a job was the game changer. And yeah, I am a workoholic.

Anyways, I alluded to the cat in a previous post. If you want to know what my mother did to the cat: left it outside in the cold, and once gave it Valium and almost killed it.

Yeah, I used to get those as well "I only say this because I love you ... ". The other favorite of mine is to "So have any of your plans/projects/jobs/meetings succeeded this month..... ". insinuating I am a failure.

I figured long ago that they conditioned me to play their psychological games since birth. It was hard to accept at first because we are always taught to love our parents but it was true, they were teaching me how to respond to their mind games in their favor, it is a kind of control mechanism for when I grew up and they could not control me by force.

Sorry to hear about your school experience, kids tend to be like animals they sniff out weakness and attack. In my school they always seem to bully the kind from troubled back grounds, the funny thing was they bullies always seemed to come from a troubled background as well.

Yeah, my families dogs did not fare better, regular beatings than patting than beating than giving treats sometimes all in one hour. They were never taken to the vet even when half dead. Poor dogs did not know what to do with them selves.

I used to be a workaholic then one day some thing inside me changed. I realized that this overworking is just some expression of the hate my parents had for me, I was trying to deny life by substituting it with work. After that day I rebalanced my life, so I could finally live my life for my self.