Why Do People Snap?

[Bobcat Fraser]

You all know about the recent mass murder. Such evil and insanity confound us, and we want to know why a brilliant student could do such a deranged, heinous thing. It's normal to ask why. Why do people snap?

It's a mystery to us. Many of us went through trials and tribulations, but we never even dreamed or thought about harming others. Needless to say, most people don't commit mass murder. Is there something unique in the makeup of those who do?

These events have happened throughout millennia, but they seem to have been more common during the past twenty years. Has the increase in mass shootings coincided with greater usage of psychotropic drugs and increased isolation? There aren't just three universal explanations, but you wonder if those three things (mass shootings, psychotropic drugs, more isolation) are linked.

[rhiannon]

And THAT, dear sir, is the million dollar question.

If we could figure this shit out, a fat lot number of lives would surely be saved.

*sigh*

[Stefan]

Ignoring the liberal jew in it toward the end; this explains it well.

rc6kk3cT8kM


Edit: To substantiate why you should ignore him, he believes the inherent preference found in humans, to their own, is the root of evil. He thinks we should recognize a world tribe, to accommodate ourselves with others as one group.

[arcticwolf]

Why? The same reason they do all the other irrational, stupid things, out of touch with reality. Ignorance is the root of all that's wrong. Ignorance with regard to reality. We have a world full of well educated idiots. Wisdom is what is lacking and in very short supply. Our efforts should be directed at teaching our kids what wisdom is and how to develop it. Wisdom is antidote to ignorance. Ignorance is promoted everywhere and by everybody nowadays. As long as ignorance and stupidity is reigning supreme, we are going to see a lot of that! Ignorance is not bliss, it is a catastrophe!

[Bobcat Fraser]

Why? The same reason they do all the other irrational, stupid things, out of touch with reality. Ignorance is the root of all that's wrong. Ignorance with regard to reality. We have a world full of well educated idiots. Wisdom is what is lacking and in very short supply. Our efforts should be directed at teaching our kids what wisdom is and how to develop it. Wisdom is antidote to ignorance. Ignorance is promoted everywhere and by everybody nowadays. As long as ignorance and stupidity is reigning supreme, we are going to see a lot of that! Ignorance is not bliss, it is a catastrophe!

Ignorance on pharmaceuticals is hazardous to our health. Add solitude, and take out empathy, and it might be the most dangerous formula in the world.

[Bobcat Fraser]

Edit: To substantiate why you should ignore him, he believes the inherent preference found in humans, to their own, is the root of evil. He thinks we should recognize a world tribe, to accommodate ourselves with others as one group.

Holmes definitely didn't discriminate. He hated all tribes.

[Stefan]

Holmes definitely didn't discriminate. He hated all tribes.

I meant the guy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Pinker) in the video I posted, who was quite obviously a cultural marxist. It was mostly a pre-determined defense against people who discredit the entire video for his appearance and ideas. The rest of the video has good explanations: like chemical imbalances, brain damage, sociopathy, etc. It's all very scientific.

[Absinthe]

I don't think people "snap". ;)

At least in most of these cases when one gets a gun and goes out on a shooting spree for no reason.

Antisocial Personality Disorder (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/antisocial-personality-disorder/DS00829/) is really hard to diagnose because we're talking about highly functional individuals, sometimes way above average intelligence, often charming and respectable people who know how to conceal their morbid side very well.

So we don't have random people "snapping" and taking the lives of strangers, but of sociopaths in disguise.

[Contra Mundum]

Probably because of declining values and the pressures of modern life, because of the obsession with material gain. There is also an obsession in our society of being noticed and achieving some level of fame, even if it means doing something evil to attain it. There is also the 'copy cat' element. 24 hour national news giving so much coverage to these mass killings is just making things worse, and politicians trying to capitalize on such tragedies, and using it to advance a particular political agenda(gun control) brings even more attention to these crimes.

If Colorado was not a crucial 'toss up' state in this election, Obama would have never bothered to travel out there to exploit this politically. Dozens have been murdered recently in his home town of Chicago, and he isn't there trying to speak to the victims, because he's leads in Illinois by 20 plus points.

[MST3K]

One word: Life

[Quorra]

That guy didn't snap. He planned it

[Bobcat Fraser]

I don't think people "snap". ;)

At least in most of these cases when one gets a gun and goes out on a shooting spree for no reason.

Antisocial Personality Disorder (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/antisocial-personality-disorder/DS00829/) is really hard to diagnose because we're talking about highly functional individuals, sometimes way above average intelligence, often charming and respectable people who know how to conceal their morbid side very well.

So we don't have random people "snapping" and taking the lives of strangers, but of sociopaths in disguise.

I think that both "snappers" and sociopaths exist. Sometimes, a person can be both at the same time. The killer allegedly planned the murders, but there might have been a trigger that pushed him go through with it. My guess is that drugs gave him the mindset to be able to commit the crimes.

[Damião de Góis]

Everyone snaps now an then. The difference is that in America you can buy guns with the same difficulty that you buy a sack of potatoes.

[Bobcat Fraser]

That guy didn't snap. He planned it

Both planning and snapping can happen. We've all heard people say something like, "I couldn't go through with it", after they planned to commit a misdeed of some kind. Maybe there was something that pushed him over the edge to allow, so to speak, him to go through with his plans. In any event, my question went beyond just this particular crime.

[Bobcat Fraser]

Everyone snaps now an then. The difference is that in America you can buy guns with the same difficulty that you buy a sack of potatoes.

Guns aren't the problem, and most people don't snap to this degree. If a patron had a gun, they could have shot the killer before he murdered anybody.

[Damião de Góis]

Guns aren't the problem, and most people don't snap to this degree. If a patron had a gun, they could have shot the killer before he murdered anybody.

Exactly, elsewhere there would be no shooting at all.

[Siberyak]

in my state you can carry a gun on you as long as its hidden.

[Christian552]

I don't think people "snap". ;)

At least in most of these cases when one gets a gun and goes out on a shooting spree for no reason.

Antisocial Personality Disorder (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/antisocial-personality-disorder/DS00829/) is really hard to diagnose because we're talking about highly functional individuals, sometimes way above average intelligence, often charming and respectable people who know how to conceal their morbid side very well.

So we don't have random people "snapping" and taking the lives of strangers, but of sociopaths in disguise.

Agreed.

[Christian552]

Both planning and snapping can happen. We've all heard people say something like, "I couldn't go through with it", after they planned to commit a misdeed of some kind. Maybe there was something that pushed him over the edge to allow, so to speak, him to go through with his plans. In any event, my question went beyond just this particular crime.

It was obviously planned. :confused:

[Drawing-slim]

Its not snaping, its the evil twisted weak patheic scum souls that do that.

Miserable people and isolated loners always have existed.
But the nobler ones take their own lives without complaining to anyone. then other weak twisted scum would like to ruin other people's lives because they're to weak to twisted to afraid to face the real darkeness on their own.

[Bobcat Fraser]

It was obviously planned. :confused:

He almost definitely planned it. There might have been a point at which he could have stopped himself, though. Was there something that prodded or pushed him along the way, which caused him to snap rather than reconsider? Either way, let's hope that he stays away from humanity for the rest of his life.

[Bobcat Fraser]

Its not snaping, its the evil twisted weak patheic scum souls that do that.

Miserable people and isolated loners always have existed.
But the nobler ones take their own lives without complaining to anyone. then other weak twisted scum would like to ruin other people's lives because they're to weak to twisted to afraid to face the real darkeness on their own.

He indeed is evil and twisted. One can't know if he snapped. Maybe he snapped before he planned the mass murder. IOW, he lost his humanity. That could be the subject of a new thread. How do individuals lose their empathy and sympathy, if they had such in the first place? These questions might be answered if he isn't executed. We might be able to learn some of the causes of these crimes.

[Drawing-slim]

^Thats the problem. trying to reason and understand a cold blooded killer. I canot agree with you.
He should have been tortured and killed by now, with no question asked.
I strongly believe in a punishment that fits the crime.

[Bobcat Fraser]

^Thats the problem. trying to reason and understand a cold blooded killer. I canot agree with you.
He should have been tortured and killed by now, with no question asked.
I strongly believe in a punishment that fits the crime.

That's understandable. We don't use cruel and unusual punishment here. Capital punishment would be justified in this case, but it might save lives to learn what makes this freak tick. Maybe they could apply the information learned to prevent future mass murders.

[Linet]

...I have snapped :rage ... i mean really snapped :angry: just once in my life.....

...But the other person stepped on everything i holded dear so ....i slapped her http://yoursmiles.org/ssmile/quarrel/s0657.gif, grabed her from the hair and started pulling her around, if they hadnt taken me away from her http://yoursmiles.org/ssmile/girls/s1212.gif...i wouldnt have left a single hair on her head....http://yoursmiles.org/ssmile/quarrel/s0631.gif

[Caismeachd]

Nature vs nurture. I think anyone is capable of snapping or doing atrocious things if they are stripped of their humanity. Some people are just delusional though or stuck in some negative thought patterns all the time so they lose touch of their humanity even if they don't really have it so bad. I don't think it's really a black and white issue but more complex. A combination of a persons nature and their life experience.

[larali]

Anger management problems. Poor self control. That's all....

[liamliam]

It's pretty simple really. If you are reffering to people who make the same mistakes, over and over again, who say they will be better and stop being a horrible person but they never change, and they love to manipulate and upset people, then we are talking about a sociopath/psychopath or a narcissist. The majority of people who end up in prison have one of these personality disorders. People with these disorders find it close to impossible to feel much empathy for others. They know right from wrong, they just don't really care. Hitler was said to be a psychopath. They are often said to be very charming people who are extremely self assured. These disorders cannot be cured or even treated, and usually the person stays the same for life. At least 30% (or more) of people display some of the traits of each of these disorders. Many people of high status in society can often have these traits, eg bosses at companies or even presidents. They tend to do whatever they can possible to make sure they succeed and will step on anyone to gain this success. They often say they would like to 'rule the world'. Donald trump would be a good example of at least being a narcissist, as he will do anything to reach his own goals and step on anyone's toes. He is also planning on running for president.

Sociopathic traits:

Glibness and Superficial Charm

Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Incapacity for Love

Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
Other Related Qualities:

Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
Authoritarian
Secretive
Paranoid
Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
Conventional appearance
Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
Incapable of real human attachment to another
Unable to feel remorse or guilt
Extreme narcissism and grandiose
May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

[liamliam]

Psycopath definition:
(Source: http://chericola57.tripod.com/infinite.html)


Psychopath. We hear the word and images of Bernardo, Manson and Dahmer pop into our heads; no doubt Ted Bundy too. But they're the bottom of the barrel -- most of the two million psychopaths in North America aren't murderers. They're our friends, lovers and co-workers. They're outgoing and persuasive, dazzling you with charm and flattery. Often you aren't even aware they've taken you for a ride -- until it's too late.

Psychopaths exhibit a Jekyll and Hyde personality. "They play a part so they can get what they want," says Dr. Sheila Willson, a Toronto psychologist who has helped victims of psychopaths. The guy who showers a woman with excessive attention is much more capable of getting her to lend him money, and to put up with him when he strays. The new employee who gains her co-workers' trust has more access to their chequebooks. And so on. Psychopaths have no conscience and their only goal is self-gratification. Many of us have been their victims -- at work, through friendships or relationships -- and not one of us can say, "a psychopath could never fool me."

Think you can spot one? Think again. In general, psychopaths aren't the product of broken homes or the casualties of a materialistic society. Rather they come from all walks of life and there is little evidence that their upbringing affects them. Elements of a psychopath's personality first become evident at a very early age, due to biological or genetic factors. Explains Michael Seto, a psychologist at the Centre for Addiction and Mental health in Toronto, by the time that a person hits their late teens, the disorder is almost certainly permanent. Although many clinicians use the terms psychopath and sociopath interchangeably, writes psychopath expert Robert Hare on his book 'Without Conscience', a sociopath's criminal behavior is shaped by social forces and is the result of a dysfunctional environment.

Psychopaths have only a shallow range of emotions and lack guilt, says Hare. They often see themselves as victims, and lack remorse or the ability to empathize with others. "Psychopaths play on the fact that most of us are trusting and forgiving people," adds Seto. The warning signs are always there; it's just difficult to see them because once we trust someone, the friendship becomes a blinder.

Even lovers get taken for a ride by psychopaths. For a psychopath, a romantic relationship is just another opportunity to find a trusting partner who will buy into the lies. It's primarily why a psychopath rarely stays in a relationship for the long term, and often is involved with three or four partners at once, says Willson. To a psychopath, everything about a relationship is a game. Willson refers to the movie 'Sliding Doors' to illustrate her point. In the film, the main character comes home early after just having been fired from her job. Only moments ago, her boyfriend has let another woman out the front door. But in a matter of minutes he is the attentive and concerned boyfriend, taking her out to dinner and devoting the entire night to comforting her. All the while he's planning to leave the next day on a trip with the other woman.

The boyfriend displays typical psychopathic characteristics because he falsely displays deep emotion toward the relationship, says Willson. In reality, he's less concerned with his girlfriend's depression than with making sure she's clueless about the other woman's existence. In the romance department, psychopaths have an ability to gain your affection quickly, disarming you with words, intriguing you with grandiose plans. If they cheat you'll forgive them, and one day when they've gone too far, they'll leave you with a broken heart (and an empty wallet). By then they'll have a new player for their game.

The problem with their game is that we don't often play by their rules. Where we might occasionally tell a white lie, a psychopath's lying is compulsive. Most of us experience some degree of guilt about lying, preventing us from exhibiting such behavior on a regular basis. "Psychopaths don't discriminate who it is they lie to or cheat," says Seto. "There's no distinction between friend, family and sucker."

No one wants to be the sucker, so how do we prevent ourselves from becoming close friends or getting into a relationship with a psychopath? It's really almost impossible, say Seto and Willson. Unfortunately, laments Seto, one way is to become more suspicious and less trusting of others. Our tendency is to forgive when we catch a loved one in a lie. "Psychopaths play on this fact," he says. "However, I'm certainly not advocating a world where if someone lies once or twice, you never speak to them again." What you can do is look at how often someone lies and how they react when caught. Psychopaths will lie over and over again, and where other people would sincerely apologize, a psychopath may apologize but won't stop.

Psychopaths also tend to switch jobs as frequently as they switch partners, mainly because they don't have the qualities to maintain a job for the long haul. Their performance is generally erratic, with chronic absences, misuse of company resources and failed commitments. Often they aren't even qualified for the job and use fake credentials to get it. Seto talks of a patient who would get marketing jobs based on his image; he was a presentable and charming man who layered his conversations with educational and occupational references. But it became evident that the man hadn't a clue what he was talking about, and was unable to hold down a job.

How do you make sure you don't get fooled when you're hiring someone to baby-sit your child or for any other job? Hire based on reputation and not image, says Willson. Check references thoroughly. Psychopaths tend to give vague and inconsistent replies. Of course the best way to solve this problem would be to cure psychopaths of their 'illness.' But there's no recipe for treating them, say psychiatrists. Today's traditional methods of psychotherapy (psychoanalysis, group and one-on-one therapy) and drug treatments have failed. Therapy is more likely to work when an individual admits there's a problem and wants to change. The common problem with psychopaths, says Sets, "Is they don't see a problem with their behavior."

Psychopaths don't seek therapy willingly, says Seto. Rather, they're pushed into it by a desperate relative or by a court order. To a psychopath, a therapist is just one more person who must be conned, and the psychopath plays the part right until the therapist is convinced of his or her 'rehabilitation.'

Even though we can't treat psychopaths effectively with therapy, it doesn't mean we can't protect ourselves, writes Hare. Willson agrees, citing the most important factor in keeping psychopaths at bay is to know your vulnerabilities. We need to "realize our own potential and maximize our strengths" so that our insecurities don't overcome us. Because, she says, a psychopath is a chameleon who becomes "an image of what you haven't done for yourself." Over time, she says, "their appearance of perfection will begin to crack," but by that time you will have been emotionally and perhaps financially scathed. There comes a time when you realize there's no point in searching for answers; the only thing is to move on.

[liamliam]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder definition:


Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school.
An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges
Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
A lack of psychological awareness (see insight in psychology and psychiatry, egosyntonic)
Difficulty with empathy
Problems distinguishing the self from others (see narcissism and boundaries)
Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults (see criticism and narcissists, narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury)
Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt
Haughty body language
Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them (narcissistic supply)
Detesting those who do not admire them (narcissistic abuse)
Using other people without considering the cost of doing so
Pretending to be more important than they really are
Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements
Claiming to be an "expert" at many things
Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
Denial of remorse and gratitude


Hotchkiss identified what she called the seven deadly sins of narcissism:[6]
Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.
Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may reinflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.
Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person's ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.
Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.
Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.
Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other.

Reacting to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation
Taking advantage of others to reach own goals
Exaggerating own importance, achievements, and talents
Imagining unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance
Requiring constant attention and positive reinforcement from others
Becoming jealous easily
Lacking empathy and disregarding the feelings of others
Being obsessed with self
Pursuing mainly selfish goals
Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Becoming easily hurt and rejected
Setting goals that are unrealistic
Wanting "the best" of everything
Appearing unemotional
In addition to these symptoms, the person may also display dominance, arrogance, show superiority, and seek power.[6] The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder can be similar to the traits of individuals with strong self-esteem and confidence; differentiation occurs when the underlying psychological structures of these traits are considered pathological. Narcissists have such an elevated sense of self-worth that they value themselves as inherently better than others. Yet, they have a fragile self-esteem and cannot handle criticism, and will often try to compensate for this inner fragility by belittling or disparaging others in an attempt to validate their own self-worth. It is this sadistic tendency that is characteristic of narcissism as opposed to other psychological conditions affecting level of self-worth.[7]
In children, inflated self-views and grandiose feelings, which are characteristics of narcissism, are part of the normal self-development. Children typically cannot understand the difference between their actual and their ideal self, which causes an unrealistic perception of the self. After about age 8, views of the self, both positive and negative, begin to develop based on comparisons of peers, and become more realistic. Two factors that cause self-view to remain unrealistic are dysfunctional interactions with parents that can be either excessive attention or a lack thereof. The child will either compensate for lack of attention or act in terms of unrealistic self-perception.[8]
The Childhood Narcissism Scale (CNS) measurements concluded that narcissistic children seek to impress others and gain admiration but do not have any interest in creating sincere friendships. CNS researchers have measured that childhood narcissism has become more prevalent in Western society; any types of activities that focus on overly praising the individual can raise narcissistic levels. More research is needed to find the reasons that promote or protect against narcissism.[8]

[liamliam]

Narcissistic parents traits:


A narcissistic parent is a parent affected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. Typically narcissistic parents are exclusively and possessively close to their children and may be especially envious of their child's growing independence.[1] In the face of this independence, the narcissistic parent "may experience a sense of loss, the child having served as an important source of self-esteem."[2]
The result may be what has been termed "narcissistic attachment"—the child always exists for the parent's benefit.

Narcissism tends to play out inter-generationally. Whereas the "good-enough" parent is confident enough to allow a child's autonomy, "a pathologically narcissistic parent... [may] need to extract a specific performance from the child to glorify [him/]herself."[4] For example, "the nonmirroring father who was preoccupied with his own self-enhancement and... insisted on being looked up to and imitated" [5] may produce a son who "began to see himself as a 'puppet' of his father"—one who "learned early in life to put other people's emotional needs ahead of [his] own."[6]
According to American psychologist Alan Rappoport, narcissistic parents "demand certain behavior from their children because they see the children as extensions of themselves and need the children to represent them in the world in ways that meet the parents’ emotional needs."[7] Thus narcissistic parents may speak of "carry[ing] the torch," "maintain[ing] the family image," or "make[ing] mum or dad proud" and may reproach their children for exhibiting "weakness," "being too dramatic," or not meeting the standard of "what is expected." As a result, children of narcissists learn to "play their part" and from time to time are expected to "perform their special skill," especially in public or for others. In extension, children of narcissists typically do not have many memories of having felt loved or appreciated for being themselves, but rather associate their experience of love and appreciation with conforming to the demands of the narcissistic parent.[8] For example, a narcissistic father who was a lawyer demanded that his son, who had always been the favorite child, enter the legal profession as well. When the son chose another career, the father rejected and disparaged him.
"These traits will lead overly narcissistic parents to be very intrusive in some ways, and entirely neglectful in others. The children are punished if they do not respond adequately to the parents' needs. This punishment may take a variety of forms, including physical abuse, angry outbursts, blame, attempts to instill guilt, emotional neglect, and criticism. Whatever form it takes, the purpose of the punishment is to enforce compliance with the parents' narcissistic needs."[7]
Vaknin considered that "the narcissistic parent regards his or her child as a multifaceted Source of Narcissistic Supply... as an extension of the narcissist."[9]

Nina W. Brown, in her book Children of the Self Absorbed, provides specific checklists for readers to identify a "destructive narcissistic pattern" in a parent.[10] She suggests examining "their parents' behaviour in the past... whether they turn every conversation to themselves, constantly demand attention, fish for compliments, fail to listen, use possessions without asking, find laughing at themselves hard, exaggerate and make demeaning comments about their children.

"Narcissistic parents give rise to either narcissistic or codependent offspring because [of] their inability to engage emotionally with their children's needs."[12] Narcissistic parents likely went through some form of emotional or psychological neglect in their own childhoods, thus may find it difficult to place their children's needs and interests ahead of their own desire to feel in control.[citation needed]
Children of a difficult, more stubborn temperament defend against being supportive of others in the house. They observe how the selfish parents get his needs met by others. They learn how manipulation and using guilt gets the parent what he or she wants. They develop a false self and use aggression and intimidation to get their way. These children grow up to be Narcissistic themselves.[13]
The sensitive, guilt-ridden children in the family learn to meet the parent’s needs for gratification and try to get love by accommodating the whims and wishes of the parent. The child’s normal feelings are ignored, denied and eventually repressed in attempts to gain the parent’s “love.” Guilt and shame keep the child locked into this developmental arrest. Their aggressive impulses become split off and are not integrated with normal development. These children grow up learning to give too much and develop a false self of becoming co-dependent in their relationships.

[Colonel Frank Grimes]

Nature vs nurture. I think anyone is capable of snapping or doing atrocious things if they are stripped of their humanity. Some people are just delusional though or stuck in some negative thought patterns all the time so they lose touch of their humanity even if they don't really have it so bad. I don't think it's really a black and white issue but more complex. A combination of a persons nature and their life experience.

You're a moderator here? Jesus... Aren't you the same guy who called the kraut's internet police on Gareth and hence the fall of the original ABF? Although I am glad to see you're not living under a bridge.

Anyway, people snap because they don't get enough hugs or they're unable to cope with frustrations.